i'm twenty.

i'm typing this out as a legal 20 year old adult. i always hate to deal with the fact that its a new big figure in my age. two decades isn't cool,really. birthday just like any normal days and as far as i concern i'm grateful enough that i got to meet the day i turned twenty. eventhough frankly speaking i wish i could have a celebration on the day i turned twenty but with the chaos and my endless mourning period that is just so inappropriate. i know how much i told you people that i had move on pretending that i am okay with the fact that he moves on but deep inside God knows how chaotic it is. i know how people are talking about me jumping into new relationship so sudden but i was totally lost that time. and knowing that he had someone else i keep reminding myself that i wanted to build anew too even with someone i barely knew,someone i hardly believe to put at the top of the world. so being twenty was the most memorable in a sense that being twenty taught me a lot in life,and taught me the painful pain in life. i know i learnt to be independent nowadays and i'm proud that i finally trained myself to get something by hardwork so that i would never put anything i had gained in vain. being twenty i'm proud that people see how much i live my life with my own life principal to train myself to be respectable. how much i would like to say that i may not be rich,i earn to get what i want. i may not be smart but intelligence come with hardwork,i may not be pretty but i planted confidence in me to look respectable,i may not be an angel but i always learn to minimise my flaw.
and being twenty i have tonnes of unfulfilled wishlists. i was a bit dissapointed not to join bibi and hanni for the pitbull's concert ( i guess these two babes are already on their way there and i'm stucked with two lab work till friday) cause that was on my to-do-list-before-i'm 21 so by hook or by crook i'll be joining their concert tour next year perhaps. and to do parachuting too which insyaAllah by this weekend if i still had the courage. and to go to live band perfomances is ticked on a fulfilled wishlist and my favourite thing to do now. you know when you had a hectic week to go sit have a drink in a cafe with a live band really blows you away. but the bad thing is that a splash of memories will come rushing back making you feel like crying listening to the melody. i know its really pathetic that i'm still living in memories eventhough i always denies it.

i need my beauty sleep already. two lab reports to be done,two presentations and two lab works this week took my beauty sleep away. and my plan on go on diet this week to get back a flat stomach is really suicidal. surviving with tofu and grains instead of rice just isn't cool. just enough to make me full but never fully satisfied,yes?

thanks for the fabulous birthday wishes dear friends. ;)